Lean racing form
“Ultimate Bully” is of course completely unrelated to any characters you may have seen in endless Jim Bowen-related repeats on Challenge TV. I need to make that absolutely clear. I hope you like Lottie and Glenn’s wrestling guises. Each reflects their unique personality and fighting style.
Lottie wisely chose to not obscure her face with a mask. It’s got to be tough to see out of some of these get-ups.
Plague Doctor? Honestly, some people just don’t want to get into the spirit of things.
So I’m assuming this means that Panda’s fighting style involves lying around eating bamboo all day, and Kiwi’s involves shooting lasers from his eyes.
Wait until you see Glenn’s finishing move: laying an egg 20% of his body weight.
The Panda eats, shoots, and leaves.
I think a panda’s fighting style also involves being adorable and giving lots of hugs.
Thank you for mentioning Laser Kiwi
Laser Kiwi is the best flag! Of any flag. Ever.
The costume is a disguise. She’s secretly a trash panda rather than a regular panda. And those’re clever AND nasty little buggers when they want to be.
Someone once told me that the panda is the most dangerous animal in the zoo. I chose to believe them without recourse to fact-checking.
I’m not saying that the zoo in question was full of rabbits but you might want to take a hard look at some of your relations.
You don’t think rabbits are dangerous? LOOK AT THE BONES!
Indeed. The bones. The gnawed bones. Night of the Lepus I think it was called. And you thought Watership Down was bad…
In other news – that bike’s still in the garage, looking sad : (
Panda costume is a good look for Lottie. And I shudder to think what Claire means by “bobbieth”.
“boobies”??
Two bobbies make a butt
You Brits! It’s like you have a different word for EVERYTHING! 😉
My friend’s daughter made up “bobbies” for buttocks. I think she was 6 or 7 at the time.
local language development
Okay, so glad you explained that. Though I have no idea what pulling off the UB’s buttocks will accomplish, even IF it can be done.
Very good, I thought this was accepted British slang. In this poor Yankee’s defense, you have many, many centuries of this sort of thing. A careful study of Le Morte D’Arthur reveals that in Sir Thomas Malory’s time, “hangers” meant testicles.
Chas: It’s hard to fight without a butt.
I will have to try to not think of this next time I am in England and see a couple of police officers.
This is shameful. Lottie is clearly trying to panda to the audience.
Basic error there by the kiwi attempting to take flight
I wonder if Mind Panda is related to Mentok the Mindtaker? OooooEeeeeOooooo!
We can hope. I’m looking forward to see what her special ability is.
A stoppable force meets an immovable object is a basic description of my fighting style, combined with Flee flee flee flee. It has served and saved me well over a lifetime.
I totally love Glenn and Lottie’s wrestling guises! Claire did a great job with them. However, I think Claire is the only one of the trio with any real fighting skills. Leaving her out was a big mistake.
Yeah, if Kittyhawk were in the ring, I think the bullock would be rolling on the floor clutching his bollocks by now.
Would such a move be legal?
Oh, I forgot, this isn’t the Olympics…
It all ends in fire, anyway.
Amazing costumes for Lottie and Glenn/Glym/Glorm!! I’m already getting flashbacks to the Christmas story Lottie and Shelley were in way back when the latter’s children’s book author career was just taking off and the two of them ended up at an author’s retreat turned Agatha Christie Murder Mystery. Lottie was her acting intern and when trying black mascara on Shelley cautioned her not to wink at any boy pandas.
Can I acquire Ultimate Bully merchandise? Perhaps, I don’t know, some sort of feathered flights, and a drinking vessel?
Absolutely not! Now let’s have a look at what you could have won.
‘Stay out of the black, and into the red…’
If you don’t work that into the next few pages somewhere… You’re a much better writer than me.
I ran out of pages and had to cut all my great Bullseye jokes.
Claire has already gone full “Your Nan watching World of Sport on a Saturday”
Very much the vibe I was reaching for. Claire loves to go batshit crazy in an entertainment setting.
Well, now I’m tempted to google whatever happened to Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks.
I see how this works out now. Lottie and Glenn will be drawn together again, combining their talents to fight a common enemy.
LUCHA LIBRE!!!!!
You can’t beat a bit of Bully!
No – you have to beat ALL of him!
I don’t watch wrestling, but I am already so invested in this fight. I’m worried that Ultimate Bully might be a bit too brawny for Authentic Kiwi to throw, though. Unless he channels Hetty throwing that stag
Our protagonists have decided to be Reginald and Beartato. That’s a power move.
I was definitely thinking of Reginald! Never considered the Beartato tie-up.
My guess is that Mind Panda will try to outsmart her opponents- which, admittedly, is probably her best shot. She and Glenn will likely have to work together to have any real shot at winning, though. It does make me wonder if Claire may have set this whole thing up to mend the rift between the other two, though.
Do they have Knock-Outs in wrestling? Does it count if you knock out the same person twice? What if one person from each side gets knocked out. Is that a draw?
“Two falls, two submissions or a knock-out” was the usual requirement for a win on the wrestling on Saturday afternoons on ITV, if I remember correctly.
It certainly was
Maybe these knock-outs refer to pushing the person entirely out of the ring? Like sumo?
It could be outside the ring or down on the canvas (and not held there). Either way the wrestler has a count of ten to be ready to fight again or they are counted out. The professional bouts that are the prototype for ASA would have been conducted (at least in theory) under the Admiral-Lord Mountevans rules: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Admiral-Lord_Mountevans_rules
my guess is that both pairs wrestle, and if there is a tie they have a third round.
Knock-outs in wrestling? They certainly have broken arms. I learned that first-hand.
I am intrigued by how the Still To Come section is filling up.
Thanks for drawing my attention to that. I was feeling sad that we are only 4 pages away from a long dry spell.