Right there with ya, Andrew.

Esteemed Author — for a while this past winter I was erroneously getting emails in Ukrainian from Avon; from the Google translations I gathered that they had somehow associated my email address with that of a newly launched Avon Lady (aka MLM pawn) in that country. The bizzareness of this continues to haunt me. “I’m sorry, I was unable to deliver your Skin So Soft bath oil because your apartment building was destroyed in the recent bombing.”