Understand, Mr. Allison sir: I am just as bad. I was raised to conduct myself with decorum in the face of important people (doctors, civil servants, solicitors, etcetera), which makes it what you might call “piss difficult” to reveal the truth about any sort of suffering or ailment. These are Busy People, you know? They’re Up There, and Down Here us knows our place and don’t want to be no trouble sir. Cue tugging of forelock and compulsive apologetics.

This is why I have the musculoskeletal stature of a pensioner despite being thirty years away from claiming, you know?