I once had a dream in which I was playing Garth Marenghi in a stage production of some sort. I remember my first line was: “Hello, I’m Garth Marenghi: author, actor, weaver of dreams. Some people say I’m bigger than J K Rowling, to which I say: yes, I do have a bit of a weight problem, but I’m working on it, and it’s rude of you to point it out.”