A big know-it-all
Based on a true story. It wasn’t me endlessly defrosting and refreezing chicken. I’m so paranoid about salmonella that I’ll cross the road to avoid a Chick-fil-A.
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Bad Machinery
New comics by John Allison
Based on a true story. It wasn’t me endlessly defrosting and refreezing chicken. I’m so paranoid about salmonella that I’ll cross the road to avoid a Chick-fil-A.
Comments are closed.
TBF, there are other reasons to give Chick-fil-A a wide berth.
I’m so paranoid about Chick-Fil-A that I would cross the road to get salmonella instead
Stop stealing shit from Ellie, people!
Probably she has the good stuff.
Genuine organic reindeer milk!
Himalayan goat cheese!
“Ellie” might be short for a male name, such as “Ellison.”
I actually know of someone who thinks that eating mouldy bread will help when you have a cold or flu
Coz, you know, penicillin!
So I can’t judge Bob, but I do feel sorry for him – and not only because Lottie is helping him
Penicillin is produced by penicillium moulds, but some of those moulds also produce toxins dangerous to humans.
Also the generalized use of antibiotics has made most bacteria resistant to penicillin. I don’t think they drink clavulanic acid to go along their mouldy toast?
Cold and flu are caused by viruses anyway. What’s the person’s education, I wonder?
In fairness, that alien was a right good laugh once you got to know him.
NAILED it!
If we’re being honest, onions are an important food too. You can’t make haggis without it!
I hope it’s not Bobby causing the intolerable lactose situation.
It’s like my mother and expiration dates. I keep running into stuff that a decade past at my parents place.
I have stuff like that, but it’s things like Pop-Tartsâ„¢ which are immortal
My grandparents had the exact same ordeal.
Buying way more food than they would remember, and then it being found years later. This applied to most of their belongings anyway, but I digress.
Expiration dates are only a suggestion!
That’s sort of true.
Or, at best, an approximation.
I recently found a packet of Doritos hiding in the least accessible part of the pantry that was dated 11 Nov 2011 (11/11/11 – no date confusion between US and the rest of the world this time)
They tasted like flavoured cardboard
(I feel like I set myself up for a joke about the date of the inaccessible part of the pantry, but I am too tired to work out how to rephrase that sentence)
In fairness, that’s what they taste like when they are in date too.
“Also, Bobby, cook the chicken before you eat it.”
“Finally, have your teens been sucked in by the latest TikTok trend? ‘Rot-huffing’ — the ‘high’ they supposedly get from the smell of expired chicken — is sweeping high schools and university campuses. For more on this, we go to Rory, our moral panic correspondent.”
My mom used to rinse chicken off in the sink. Apparently the sink germs fought with the chicken bacteria and we humans were the real winners.
Julia Child (wrongly) taught a whole generation to do this. Turns out it merely spreads microbes all over the kitchen, much like hand dryers re: public restrooms.
I wondered where it came from!
Bah. If it’s good enough for Julia it’s good enough for me. Just try not to splash chicken water on everything and you’ll be fine.
And just remember to “Save the liver!”
I guess the Cleveland Clinic are just a bunch of dummies.
What gets me about the hot air blowers in public restrooms is that they don’t even dry your hands. They just make them warm and wet.
Oooh! You’ve had “hot” air blowers that blew HOT air!? Youuuuu lucky bahstid!
It’s a good thing Bobby caught the eye of Lottie and not someone like Desmond. I’m sure while well meaning, most of Desmond’s healthy living advice would be more likely to send him to an early grave.
This could make a good Christmas special, Des and Bobby Problems.
… in “HAMPER.”
As in “Away in a hamper”?
Ohhh, so THAT’S where the phrase “comparing apples to onions” comes from!
It’s so nice to see Lottie being so sincere with Bobby, but she seems to have not idea that what is NFT is absolutely abnormal for everyone outside Tackleford. Now Bobby seems to think she’s a bit crazy and kinda weird. Which is absolutely wr… wait!
In fairness, Not Fresh Thighs are no good whether you’re from Tackleford or not.
Pls bag up your rotten chicken pieces before you toss the in the bin. Okay please thanks
Then scrub your hands clean before cleaning out and disinfecting the freezer
Perhaps references to extraterrestrial encounters are best postponed until the third “date.”
Let’s hope she waits until the third date to tell him about her time in jail on murder charges. Otherwise Bobby might think he’s been chosen as the next victim.
That visual depiction of manky chicken stench is spot on. Also, does poor Bobby have no sense of smell or does the facial hair act as a gas mask?
Maybe he just thinks everything smells like that.
I have always eaten onions like apples, don’t pretend you don’t
Nothing like a nice dish of onionsauce, or a fresh-baked onion brown betty.
I have a great imagination, but I don’t have to pretend that particular kink. (To this day I have to cook my onions to the brink of burnt to enjoy them, but they are important to cookery.)
Eaten one in that manner once, as a “drunk food”, had nothing else at hand (seems there’s no English for that, imagine! https://ell.stackexchange.com/questions/119792/things-you-have-eat-or-drink-while-drinking-alcohol)
What was the experience, you ask? Eh, could be better. Better than nothing, anyways.
One does not mess with Ellie.
Lottie will mess with anyone. And if Lottie doesn’t like Ellie, well, that’s not going to be LOTTIE’S problem…
If you are wearing a blindfold and have no sense of smell, they are evidently indistinguishable from one another when eaten (presumably distinguishable when digested, though)
well THAT migrated away from the “eating onions like apples” comment
It’s relatively safe to defrost and refreeze chicken just as long as you do it in the fridge, not on the bench, Even so, once is probably enough.