A Holiday Harlequinade begins
I wrote this story when all the windows in my house were being replaced. It was -3°C outside and I had to keep warm, so I did it by writing and drawing 12 pages in 2 days. It’s difficult to describe how I felt after I finished.
The pages are being released in twos because in the absence of quality, it’s best to pump up the quantity. But this is quite a good project, it’s got a certain power, as you will discover. See you on Friday for part 2.
This is… Beautiful… *tears up a bit*
Oh hell, not him
Not the fishman
Oh yes. Yes him, yes the fishman.
It’s a short Christmas story by John Allison. Of COURSE the Fishman will be here.
♫ It’s beginning to look a lot like Fishman! ♫
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tTHn2tHhcI
I hope it’s not the ideas file fueling that homespun fire
At least those dud ideas have found a useful purpose. Although it’s a shame that ‘Sexual Edwyn’ didn’t make the cut.
I agree. It would have been interesting to see in what manner “Sexual Edwyn” would NOT be sexual.
Edwyn? Drat, I thought it said Eowyn. I was up for some sexy time with the shield maiden of Rohan.
“I will sleep with no man!” proclaims Saint Joan, the Maid of Orleans
[Eowyn whips off her armor…]
I just knew some of you perverts would fixate on that one
I would read the heck out of “Crust Punk Cops” if it existed.
The fact that I don’t really know what a “crust punk” is either just makes it funnier
crusties used to be a punkish thing, similar to grebos[1], at the arse end of the 80s. I remember reading a Guardian column about the Halt Bar in Glasgow at the time – an ancient, legendary, sticky floored drinking bar – where they described the snug as being “known by the locals as Crusty Alley”[2]. No it wasn’t Mr G, I lived round the corner, although I’m sure the locals got a chuckle and a free pint out of making that up
[1] fans of bands like Pop Will Eat Itself, somewhere between punk and goth but mostly just wore whatever hadn’t evolved its own sentience and moved out of the student flat
[2] Ok I see I’m going to have to explain more pop culture of the era, this was a pun on Kirstey Alley, who was still on Cheers[3] back then
[3] Um, think The Good Place meets Zombieland. Just how young _are_ you?
“Just how young _are_ you?”
Hahaha. I’m just old enough so when I was born, “teenage rebellion” meant getting a Beatles haircut. I was in my “Classical music only” phase during most of the Punk era, so I missed out on most of it.
We’ll always have the Laurieston, at least…
There were ‘crusties’ and ‘gutter punks’ in the early ’00s as well. Don’t really recall what differentiated them from emos, scenesters, hipsters, and the like. A greater affinity for dumpster diving, perhaps?
Well the 80’s punks were a thing I watched from a distance as a wee one who had no idea what they were seeing.
I was later introduced to various parts of that and earlier and succeeding waves by various friends, to the point I now see random teens done up like the punk teens of my youth and wonder: “Are you actually a fan of that band or is this just a getup?”
Yes! Yes! Yes!!
[AFFIRMATIVE CHANTING GROWS TO TERRIFYING LEVELS]
YOU MUST FACE YOUR DES-TINY!
IT’S THE GHOST OF DESMAS PAST! Or perhaps THE GHOST OF DESMAS YET TO COME!
It’s never a good sign when Desmond is calling someone “Daddy”. The poor Cartoonist is having a Nightmare before Christmas!
He always calls me “daddy”!!!
Oh no… It’s worse than I thought!!!
Wait… You’re Lord Sunderland?
The resemblance is uncanny
Hohoho, this is fantastic. Looking forward to it.
Xmas Des should be an annual tradition
Darn, I was really looking forward to Sexual Edwyn.
I read that as “Sexual Eowyn”, but I suppose that’d be asking for another cease-and-desist.
You’re not the only one!
“Giant Punk Cops Trust in the Wisdom of Sexual Edwyn” may not have much going for it, but at least it’s almost long enough to be a modern isekai title.
BTW, a humble suggestion. I think “Sarge Blarsky” rolls off the tongue better than “Sarge Blasky”.
Careful now. We aren’t MADE of £6000 gift hampers here.
Sarge Banksy, the cop who keeps the streets safe although no one ever sees him doing it, or, indeed, even knows who he is
Not to be confused with Sgt Batsy, who also does all of those things, but dressed as a bat.
Surely this depends on the accent? I assume most Scousers would prefer the latter…
And how well does “Detective Szymanskova” roll off the tongue?
As we have learned from action movies, ANYTHING will roll easily if you push it hard enough.
Alright, to calm ourselves down until the next Solver installment, John has given us his equivalent of A Ghost Story For Christmas!
Honestly I think John might of had something going if he combined “The Wisdom Of Milk” and “Night Cream: Trust In Monty.” If you think about most dairy stories are pretty much the same.
Dunno, that all sounds a bit cheesy.
Yet here we have Des to curdle the blood…
I was thinking “Sexual Edwyn and the Night Cream in : The Wisdom of Milk”.
He could have milked that for all it was worth.
Think of Maurice Sendak’s _In the Night Kitchen_ and it all starts to make sense. Maybe.
*about it,
I bet you were.
Accused of “whimsy” by a feckless press-body, Mr. Allison commences descent into sketchy darkness. “I’ll show the lot of you,” he was heard to mutter through windows freshly shattered by a well-flung Christmas hamper, “especially you, Ronald.”
I’m not going to argue with anyone who can lift one of those hampers, talk about chuck it through a window.
Officer Choadwick sounds like he should be investigating a missing French Letter.
Why are you dressed like Alison Bechdel’s character Mo?
As a Patreon customer, I’m disappointed that I’m not getting the whole thing in advance. Is it because of the lack of quality?
I thought about running it all in one chunk on Patreon, then I didn’t put it up. I’ll put it all up now.
As a good judge of goode ideas I can inform our dear creator that we still have to see any idea of his that is not of quality!
Finally! Fishman!
Is standing beside you…
I seymour what you did there.
…With sweet understanding, Fishman’s your man!
(hold for applause)
Desmond seems to have had a bit of influence on “Crust Punk” Style. THEY should be calling him Daddy.
I also do not know what a crust punk is, but the panel showing the characters reminds me of Guy Davis’ comic Baker Street. Of course, that wasn’t about cops, it was more of a punk Sherlock Holmes. I remember liking the series at the time, but have not looked at it in 3 decades.
Shouldn’t it be more melancholy sax-led folk-rock than punk?
How will he solve the mystery of the… Robber’s Wheel?
Des plus A Christmas Carol plus cold, exhausted, delirium. It all fits so well! We even got Shauna by Christmas just as I’d hoped. God Bless You, Sir!
God bless us, every one.
OMG you made a zine. I missed this
You have a holly jolly. Your comics are a gift to the world.
Maybe your carbon monoxide detector is broken?
from Orange Juice?
“Lemon curry?”
This feels like Frank Miller did an episode of Bad Machinery.
I must say, I like the look of all of these proposed stories, and it’s difficult to pick a favourite.
Do them all?