A Holiday Harlequinade part 4
Yes, here’s everyone’s Christmas present, Fit Mum and Tom Grendel from ill-starred comic “The Great Unboxing”. That’s right, I can bring back anybody, even characters no one remembers! Steeple volume 4 looks good, doesn’t it? Unlike “Jack” and “Steve”, whoever they may be. Part 5 on Friday!
FIT MUM
Now that’s a mum I wouldn’t kick out of the king’s mead hall
I’m gonna ask here because it’s something that’s been bugging me for a while, but was Fit Mum… a sex worker? There was an interaction during a parent-child conference that seemed to hint to that, but I may have misinterpreted it.
I can’t remember
SURE YOU CAN’T JOHN
It wasn’t at the parents’ evening; it was when she went to the Town Hall to see the planning officer. “I meet a lot of people through work” *WINK*. “Oh. OH. OH.“… and then when she and Tom were leaving “I think sometime you have to remind people what’s landed in their lap“.
I think maybe John meant to leave a discreet veil over what, or who, landed up in the planning officer’s lap, and how.
makes it sound like she might have at some point been a stripper?
It was never intended to be revealed, it’s a real weak mind idea
I found it memorable, risky, and hilarious, please never change!
(Except maybe to give yourself more rest breaks)
But if I recall, it was Tom’s dad who paid child support in a bunch of small bills posted through the mail slot. So what my head canon supposes is that it’s the mystery Mr. Grendel who’s the stripper, and Ms. Grendel would have been a specialist doctor at a clinic for embarrassing health issues like VD or ED.
Oh, Steeple Volume 4. What could have been…
A Manara Steeple cover, you say? I be rubbin’ me thighs like Vic Reeves at the thought.
I bet Maggie wouldn’t mind being drawn by Manara
She can break out her hole-y armor
This is a endless nightmare for the poor cartoonist. But I have to admit that I would have liked to have the fourth volume of “Steeple” under the tree. With or without the horny cover.
I remember The Great Unboxing (aka Wen-Tack). I have read and reread it many times.
But I did forget it at one point. I read it once, forgot about it when it went offline, then subscribed to the patreon and reread it x1 million
Yay! Tom Grendel! SOME of us remember…
Those two obviously-fictional guys at the end of the page seem familiar to me. I want to say… Kirko and Ditby? Something like that. I’m sure they would have loved to have created characters as famous as Tom Grendel.
I also remember Tom Grendel (and his Fit Mum), although I was definitely not expecting him to appear.
In fact, a reply from Grendel to another of the Great Unboxing kids (about how she remembered him from the time he nearly drowned during the school’s swim meet) might be one of my favourite things John has ever written: “I didn’t nearly drown! I simply stopped swimming because I thought the whole affair was pointless”. I instantly felt that Grendel was a kindred spirit.
I just abused the internet wayback to refresh my brains about all the unboxing from eons past.
Never answered: Fit Mom’s occupation – although something was vaguely implied…
It was a profession for which random men would often vaguely recognize her without quite remembering where, and then they would eventually figure it out and become extremely embarrassed.
Prime Minister, obviously.
I mean, who wouldn’t be embarrassed to realize they hadn’t recognized the Prime Minister?
She was only Prime Minister for six week!
But Lottie was in Steeple, so how could it possibly be a comic series in the world of Bad Machinery? Is this all just a part of the St. Elsewhereverse?!
You do realize that the main cahracter of this story is the author/artist, right? His creations have come to life to play the parts of the Dickensian ghosts. The story, presumably, doesn’t take place in the world of Bad Machinery, but rather in a strange, dream-like realm between that world and the world we dwell in.
waaaaiiiiit are you saying we dwell in a world?
If the world we all live in turns out to just be some comic artist’s bad dream, it would explain a lot.
I’d like to have a word with the artist about my sharacter design, please.
I’m not thrilled with my current character arc, either.
If we do live in a world, whoever is in charge of the worldbuilding ought to be replaced with someone who at least understands the concept of suspension of disbelief.
In addition to all that, there’s no need for the Steeple in the world of Bad Machinery to be identical to the one we read. Perhaps all the characters are different, perhaps they’re based on real people (perhaps there are characters in the stories we read that are based on real people in our world, capable of reading about themselves). Perhaps the Lottie we read about is not the actual Lottie in the Bad Machinery world, but a sort of composite figure.
For that matter why couldn’t a prominent teen solver have a guest feature in a fictional storyline published within the world she lives in? Michael Jordan exists in our world *and* he exists in a semi-biographical movie alongside fictional character, Bugs Bunny.
Imagine writing, “But Michael Jordan was in ‘Space Jam,’ how could it possibly be a movie franchise in the world of Michael Jordan?”
There’s a lot more potential to fiction than simply ‘making canon’ and ‘being weighted down by a quarter century of continuity.’
My BRAIN hurts!
What do you mean a ‘quater Century of continuity’?
Ugh, I feel old. I swear it was the 90’s just a few months ago.
No, it’s at least five years since the nineties, I’d say
2020 alone lasted at least five years.
Don’t even need to bring Lottie into it. The guy proffering the Steeple comic is himself a Steeple character. If a little metalevel confusion bothers you, you maybe shouldn’t read anything involving Erin/Mordawwa.
“Steeple Swimsuit Edition”
I’d buy that for a dollar! Or even a hundred of them!
Are the two Steve Ditko and Jack “the King” Kirby?
Yes!
That’s a bit cruel isn’t it? Ditko and Kirby as Ignorance and Want?
Christ alive
Like I said, Kirko and Ditby.
Okay, I totally understand and support Mr. Alison’s reluctance to get into video. However, as a Yank I have often wondered how his dialog would sound in British accents. When I try to imagine them speaking, they usually come out in East Coast or “mid-Atlantic” accents, like the ones in 30’s and 40’s movies. I wouldn’t mind seeing some live action versions, or even audio. It’s just too hard to figure out what a British accent would sound like, let alone a North of England one.
One of the best sources around for Yorkshire accents online are the animated features of David Firth (of Salad Fingers, Spillsbury Toast-Boy, Burnt-Face-Man, and Cream fame) as well as his short-live Waller-FM podcast.
Same here, they don’t quite seem right in a Midwest or Texas accent.
Just listen to any podcast I have ever been on (dozens)
Ha, the idea of them sounding American is hilarious to me but of course as someone from southern England, I have to remind myself all the time that they’re northern. I guess this just shows most of us use our own internal voice for all characters in everything.
Northern! Only in the sense of “North of Watford Gap”, which I suppose is the official Government position…
Everyone lives north of somewhere (unless they live at Amundsen–Scott Station, I suppose).
Technically, Amundsen-Scott Station is north of any point just above Amundsen-Scott Station. >:D
I suppose if we’re going to go full-on pedantic mode, the station is also actually slightly north of wherever the exact location of the true geographic south pole is that year. It moves a bit each year because the earth is wobbly. I don’t think the station has ever been exactly on top of the pole.
Wait, was everyone in these comics Northern all along? Like Geordies or flipppin’ Monthy Python Yorkshire men?
Basically it’s like this:
https://ukcomics.fandom.com/wiki/The_Jocks_and_the_Geordies
No, please
I’d be reluctant to see how it all turns out, but there’s really no better fit in the Bobbinsverse for Manora’s iconic Euro-sleaze than Steeple.
Tom would sell his soul to be drawn by Manara, except that he probably doesn’t actually have it any more
I think Tom would consider the implication that there’s any possibility that he hasn’t already sold his soul to be a base slander.
I dunno, Susan seems to be trying to slither her way onto a Manora cover.
So while I accept everything you said about your mental state during Wen-Tack, and agree that it’s kind of obvious those strips were the product of a weak mind, I’ve always had a soft spot for the core four characters and a lot of their dialogue. The word “dopper” now lives in my head rent free, forever, and I hope that one day you get to draw the barbarian story you’re clearly yearning to tell. Perhaps with Georgia, Zeebus, G-man and Sunita as the “big four” fantasy RPG classes. I know it’s not the same without the CImmerian, but if you were ever to go there again, I’d love to see those idiots in a Jumanji-like situation.
(My doctor said I’m not to use the i-word that weebs like, because of my blood pressure.)
With Brian’s hair acting as a ponytail it is now clear that it is in fact Shauna who is the Mary Sue!
(Too soon?)
I don’t understand?
I think Mads is implying that you look a bit like Shauna in that first panel.
Christ alive
This is what we do here, right? Scrutinise every detail for unintended Meaning? To be extra insufferable I combined my astute observation with a reference to the closest I can recall we’ve had to a Drama Incident in this little comment community. The gifts just keeps on giving. Merry Christmas, John A
No. You all club together to buy me a £6000 Fortnum and Mason hamper, this has now been established. Mads, you are lucky that you are in the SGR Gold Club with lifetime membership or you’d be in a LOT of trouble. Happy Christmas to you too.
I was hoping my little Lottie and Mike Savage short animation would make enough waves to get John to at least think about pivoting to video. He just needs to write and design like he always does. Id animate it and turn into those two totally real guys.
The Junji Itø/horny cover section gave the fear of a Steeple/Sexy Losers crossover and now I need to avoid bright light and loud noises.
“It’s going to be your balls, isn’t it?” cracked me up; perfect comic timing.
I’m very funny
I know, right?
That line was nuts.
There’s a vas deferens between crude humor and clever humor.
It’s the Classic Tale of Creation and Consumption, only every time it’s different.
Not only do I want the Manara-covered STEEPLE Volume 4 – I’m still waiting for that bonus Charlotte Dreams back-up strip by Windsor-Smith.
I was giggling non stop for a bit at encountering Manara in the middle of my favourite webcomic. The delightfully absurd bits have kept me reading since Bobbins, thank you!
all we want is Steeple #4 – Manara cover! Chop chop, let’s make this happen!
IDK, I think that preview cover undersells the predicted horny level.
Repent! Harlequin!
A heartstopping moment…
It’s the Pivot-to-Tiktokman!
It’s always nice to be reminded that my unabashed, shameless fandom of the Bobbinsverse is in fact killing the cartoonist by inches. :'(
Sent the last couple panels to a friend out of context and he thought maybe the strip was about John Romita.
I’ve been one of Romita’s Raiders since 2003
LMK when you’re taking preorders for a “I understand life-work balance, at least as a concept” T-shirts, stickers and mugs.
This was delightful. Loved the layout, the pace, seriously it’s so much fun.
Of course I remember Grendel and his mum. Who could forget:
Hwæt. We Comixfena in geardagum
Searucræfta, þrym gefrunon,
hu þa diegolcildru ellen fremendon.
Oft Mildþryð Hæferesham cræftigum fæder,
Wendelfeldes bewegum, langlice fulfor,
alangode simbel. Syððan langest fare,
wælgrædig woruldende, heo þæs werod gebad,
betwuxnett ingeciegodon, weorðsegnas þah,
oðþæt unboxras þara efencomon,
Wentacc rad hyran scolde,
delfunge unboxian. Þæt wæs god cild.
I’ve long known John Campbell has too much time on his hands, but this might be the ultimate confirmation. 😉
Keep up the amazing work, JC!
I may also have problems with life balance. I don’t even have the excuse that this is my job. Contrary to what Amy told us once, Internet likes do not translate directly into money.
If anyone’s wondering, this roughly translates to:
What. We Comicsfans, in days of yore,
of Bad Machinery, people asked,
how the mystery kids heroism performed.
Often Mildred Haversham¹ with crafty² father,
Wendlefield’s byways, longly fared,
took forever. After longest journey,
cannibal apocalypse, she thus group recruited,
Internet called upon, “likes”³ grew,
until unboxers⁴ there came together,
Wen-Tack road minions had them⁵
tunnel unbox⁶. That was good kid.
¹ Mildew has an amazingly Eald Englisc name.
² cræft is a word with rich and complex meanings. In this case it references both Neal’s cunning and his technical skills.
³ Or “worth-signs”.
⁴ I don’t have a specific citation for this, but I can cite all the parts.
⁵ The translation here is kind of awkward, because it’s using “should” in a mode that Modern English has lost, where the hyran (the Wen-Tack Action Group) are actively putting an obligation on the unboxers. That usage comes directly from the original.
⁶As mentioned above⁴, I can cite box, and un- is a common prefix. Tacking -ian on makes it into an infinitive verb (Class II weak). Standard verbing.
Þis sōþe wæs 🔥🔥🔥. Eall hāil sē micla scēop.
On the strength of this perhaps you and Alan Moore should consider a joint project expanding his “cheated champions of your childhood”.