My kinda town
When I was trying to think what the tourism video would be like, I had to think what Shelley Winters would commission (back in her days in the mayor’s office), and I was certain that it would be almost exactly like one of Telly Savalas’ 5-minute films on British cities. The best one is, for my money, Birmingham. The degree to which it unexpectedly kicks off in this video is magnificent.
I’M MC MAYOR AND I’M HERE TO SAY
I drive from Tackleford to Wendlefield, every day
A monorail!
At last
I can’t wait to see how it turned out
I don’t think it did. IIRC, the monorail was part of Mayor Mayor’s (or, more accurately, Shelley’s) campaign strategy, in the election that he ultimately lost to Tim.
M. C. Escher lived in Tackleford?
On second thought, that is completely unsurprising.
M. C. Escher DESIGNED Tackleford. It explains a lot.
Dark Escher
The folly in particular being illustrated there is hard for us to see since we don’t get the video – the water is falling up the waterfall. (The frothy bit is from gobs of water that are psyching themselves up for the jump.)
I’m MC Escher and I’m here to say
I think Momus had a song about “MC Escher / the impossible rapper”
There’s the mystery of the Missing Tackleford Escher to solve
Guaranteed to send our solvers around the twist!!
In AND out of. (It’s complicated.)
Our antipodean friend is learning that Claire and Lottie grew up in a far more dangerous environment than he did.
Thank you so much for panel 3 John.
I love the Wimpy addition.
New Zealand is so peaceful parrots forgot how to fly.
The parrots forgot how to fly but they learned to eat meat.
It’s not like he’s an Aussie. He comes from an island where hairy ground fruits with no natural defenses other than their laser eyes live and thrive.
In New Zealand, the only thing they have to fear is the inevitable bloody sheep uprising.
Well, that and the ever-burning eye of Sauron atop the Barad-dûr. And the volcanoes. But that’s it, really.
There’s flooding too
Katipo spiders. They aren’t deadly, but their bite is painful. Fortunately, they’re shy and not widespread.
Though they do live on a beach where a friend of a friend knelt down on the sand to propose to his girlfriend, and one climbed up the leg of his shorts and bit him on the kiwifruit.
To make things worse, she said “no.”
Also, when he got to the hospital, they thought he was drunk or on drugs and didn’t take him seriously.
Think about that when you’re having a bad day.
And then there was the unfortunate bloke who inspired this true headline: “Spider bites Australian man on penis – again”
Weirdly, the same day I posted this comment I was bitten by a spider for the first time in my life. Not a venomous spider, and even though it was about the size of my big toenail, not terribly painful, even, nor did it apparently break the skin, but still.
I’d put my foot into a shoe in which it was resting.
Indeed. He will learn thst there’s tough, and then there’s Tackleford tough.
I don’t know if that’s true. We haven’t actually met Cathey yet!
I was going to say something about earthquakes and volcanic eruptions, but I guess Cathey beats that, too.
My favourite (apart from Cumbernauld, who made a whole movie, ‘Cumbernauld Hit’, to promote the town) is the “Energy in Northampton” song (by Linda Jardim of The Buggles) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfTT6xOcbdo
“Aliens from outer space, needing help from the human race, they found the answer at Northampton”. – you owe it to yourself to give it a listen
I really question whether Tackleford has ever gone 100 days without a supernatural incident. Put that 1 back on the right-hand hook Shelley, you’re not fooling anyone.
Without a DOCUMENTED supernatural occurrence. I’m sure there were plenty that the authorities missed- those wouldn’t count.
I suspect that Tacklefordlings have a skewed notion of what counts as a “supernatural occurrence”, too. Gutters backed up because mooncalfs nested in the downspout? That’s not supernatural, that’s just Tuesday. It’s not like Lottie’s stepdad turned into a giant soul-sucking walnut and then got exploded by an emo ghost bound to the bricks in the boot of the Queen of the Underworld’s Fiat or anything like that…
Fingers crossed that Mayor Mayor (or his successors) managed to bring the local population of ursi daemonum to heel. Or to bear, as the case may be.
He didn’t have any successors after his final term. After the Bee Incident, Tackleford was forbidden from having any more mayors.
His immediate successor the first time around went on to make the devil bear problem much, much worse, though I think Erin took care of them, along with Jesper Bloem, four square miles of ancient forest, and a beloved and rare local lichen, when she closed the world window.
I watched that Telly Savalas promotion for Birmingham
I hope they paid him well for his ‘powerhouse’ enthusiasm
I’ve never wanted to go to a city less…
Telly Savalas’s use of the first person in his narration is somewhat at odds with the film’s total lack of Telly Savalas.
At the :25 mark, “I can’t see it like you can …” I like that he didn’t even see it.
I can’t find a Telly Savalas video on Nottingham. An outrageous and scandalous omission!
“This is the view that nearly took my breath away,” narrates Savalas.
Because you were gagging?
Has Glenn ever experienced an unequivocal supernatural occurrence?
Maybe not, but he’s gonna.
“Hold on, just how old is this Shelley person?” — the last thing anyone asks before they get lost in time like Jack
Why, she doesn’t look a day over sñeventy-two
Woo, Gravity Falls reference!
“Time travelling zombie woman. And she’s got good genes.”
“That’s where I’ve seen her! The Jeans Barn ads!”
Looks like the “days since” board has room for at least two more digits to the left, which makes one wonder what the highest number to ever appear on that board could possibly be. (To be honest, the “100” seems terribly high…)
I fear those extra spaces are merely aspirational.
I think James Mayor is just what Tackleford needs. He’s obviously followed the American urban revitslization examples of Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook.
Those spaces are where they usually store the zeroes
She hasn’t put the descimal point up yet. Could be 0.100 days.
I was sad to have no reference to Percy’s Peas and Beans… UNTIL I LOOKED BY HIS PIPE!
Good spotting!
Oh, Mad Terry, I have missed you so…
Probably my favourite promotional video (Absolutely) was the one developed for Stoneybridge (“Hang on, Tabby…”) by Archie MacTash.
Facilities!
It’s a vid-ayo.
Birmingham sounds nice, but do they have a 45 minute long spy thriller, complete with theme songs? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9w1Um8fd7Jc
The first two series of Gangsters was BRILLIANT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vTyVtQp9iY&list=PLFDaLm3zjU2sfpNIZQ2qEjsHr_z1Pq9iF
If the Wen-Tack road was planned a mere 15 years ago, and has been finished since, it managed better than the Big Dig in Boston.
The Big Dig moved about 5km of highway underground and cost more than the danged Chunnel. Truly one of Massachusetts’ finest boondoggles.
Though I gotta admit, it had really improved traffic flow.
Until the Jevon’s Paradox catches up with it
It sounds more successful than California’s Train to Nowhere.
Unless its purpose was to launder money, in which case, T2N’s got it beat.
I think ’15 years’ is the Solver version of nuWho describing the UNIT adventures as taking place in the 1970s or 80s. If the Tackleverse runs roughly in real time, however, it’s closer to 23 years. Shelley worked for Mayor Mayor in the earlyish SGR days, so around 2003-4, give or take.
It absolutely does not run in real time! Think about it, the story where Lottie and Claire move to Sheffield ran in June 2022. Less than 4 months have passed since then in the comic.
When the UNIT adventures originally aired, they were supposed to be taking place in the near future, but the writers kept forgetting that and making contemporary references. That’s what the “’70s or ’80s” thing was referring to- the inconsistency in the original aired episodes, not some sort of sliding timescale thing.
Until it became a sliding timescale thing, because nerds never met continuity they didn’t want to convolute. Can’t just ignore something that only happened because whathisname who played Ian Chesterton wasn’t available and there was no time to commission a script that didn’t revolve around teachers…
(I am aware that I am every bit as pedantic, fussy and obsessive over production circumstance details. It takes one to know one.)
Reminds of the lovely elegant solution Star Trek used for their late 20th century sliding timescale problem, when, in Strange New Worlds, their inevitable “Time travel back to now-ish” episode featured a Romulan time travel spy who had been stranded on earth for decades waiting for the 1990s Eugenics Wars to happen, only for them to keep getting inadvertently delayed by the actions of all those many other time travelers.
(Presumably also the Bell Riots and the Irish Reunification of 2024)
It’s real time in a sense that time IS indeed moving, but it hasn’t been “real time” (alongside the current date) since Scary Go Round’s run ended
And now we have Christmas in April.
Amy was 18, or nearly so, at the beginning of Bobbins. (She was explicitly 17, almost 18, at the beginning of .horse, but those appear to pick up a little earlier in Shelley’s time at City Limit than the original comics, insofar as it’s possible to reconcile their differing accounts of events.) She was explicitly 31 in “Severed Alliance”. So, beginning of Bobbins was 13 years before “Severed Alliance”.
All the mystery kids were 15 in “Severed Alliance” — Lottie just recently, Mildred still a month shy of 16. Lottie is now 19. Mildred and Shauna are 20. Sonny’s 20th birthday is in a few days (on Christmas, because of course it is). So “Severed Alliance” was about 4.5 years ago. 13+4.5 = 17.5,
At the other end, all of the mystery kids except Mildred, whose birthday is right at the beginning of the school year, were 11 at the beginning of Bad Machinery — Shauna’s 12th birthday is an explicitly noted plot point in “Team Spirit”. They’re, again, 19–20 now. The beginning of Bad Machinery was 8 years and 3 or 4 months ago. There was a three-year timeskip between the end of Scary Go Round and the beginning of Bad Machinery. So the end of SGR was 8+3, a little more than 11 years ago.
So if Bobbins began 17–18 years ago, and SGR ended 11 years ago, 15 years ago sounds about right for Shelley’s time in the mayor’s office.
Will there eventually be a Crisis on Infinite Tacklefords to try to fix the timeline?
That was The Case of the Forked Road
Holy moley, man. HOW. I commend you but – HOW. When I think of all the stories and timelines my brain turns to mush.
Pretty sure the Wen-Tack road was scuttled. I suppose could have been completed “off screen” in very normal, boring fashion.
Nooo it was finished right? Cause it meant that some of the kids had to go to different schools. Or am I completely misremembering?
Pretty sure Wen-Tack got unboxed and streamed on screen.
Ir got scuttled. But then it got Mildred.
The terrible chain of events she set in motion was on tv.
Ah yes, another X-Files fan I see – Scuttled and Mildred, I remember them well.
Mildred-ed
God help our poor tourists
Boogie down, Birmingham!
Ygln may have several questions, but I think he may have a few answers as well.
That skull peeking out in the dirt is… alarming.
Because the red eyes in the cave are yust friends you haven’t yet meet.
Did you say “yeti meat”?
I read Mayor Mayor’s dialog in the voice of TV’s Troy McClure, of Simpsons fame.
I remember him from such fantastical cities as Springfield, Tackleford, and Slough!
Who was played by the late (and dearly missed) Phil Hartman, who also played the guy who sold Springfield on the idea of a monorail. Hmmm…
That video convinced me. Now I want to avoid Tackleford like it’s the plague!
‘I’m sure someone loves you baby.’
The myth of the British monopoly on devastating understated buns destroyed.
For our U.K. & G.B. readers, Telly Savalas’ catchphrase (on the 1970s TV police procedural Kojak) was “Who loves ya, Baby?”
Not to be confused with Kolchak, whose catchphrase was “Ey, I’m night stalkin’ here!”
I’ll have you know that for a brief period in the 70s I wanted to BE Kojak!
That’s some dancing! And then some.
This is GOLD! John. GOLD! Thank you for this! I had no idea this existed. Oh, I hope there is one of Liverpool!
I had no idea that “Belly Savalas” from Black Books was referencing a real person. The things I learn from this site.
Do you have any idea how old you’re making some of us feel?
His daughter’s a burlesque performer and songstress. Quite good, too.
Ariana Savalas. Yes.
Wait til you find out about Cobumbo!
Over 100 follies! As an architect who is on the verge of a holiday in England that would be quite interesting. I’ve even done a bit of spelunking. Alas, I can’t seem to locate Tackleford on a map…
It’s near Wendlefield.
You’re looking at the wrong map.
Some people have too much time on their hands.
Surprisingly, it wasn’t me for a change.
Of course it wasn’t you. You wouldn’t have left out Tredregyn, or Wendlefield, for that matter.
I swear I’ve delivered to some of those places…
I found Tackleford, but I don’t see Wendlefield.
I want to visit Muggleton. Couldn’t find Tackleford.
Fullerton I’ve been to many times, but not the fictional English place.
Tackleford seems to be just a little west of Leeds. Or in terms of the pink parts of the map, east of the Island of Sodor and south of Craigshire. Incidentally, it seems to be not too far from Wuthering Heights.
I’m not overly familiar with the geography of England, but I had imagined Tackleford to be a bit further south, so I can sympathise with the difficulty of finding the place.
The funny this is, when I first clicked on the link and saw the map, I happened to be staring directly at Tackleford. It wasn’t just nearby- I was looking directly at it. I don’t know what that means, but it makes me a bit uneasy.
I used to have that map bookmarked in my old browser. Great way to kill a bunch of time
Wendlefield is nowhere to be found, but Tackleford is surprisingly near Hurtfew Abbey, which is on my list to visit. (That may explain some of the supernatural activity!) If only the monorail were running!
According to the website’s index for the map, Wendlefield /should/ be included.
GOOD LORD. I had no idea I was SO close to Tackleford! I mean, I arrived in Haworth (of the Brontës) just yesterday evening, more or less in the Wildfell Hall – Wuthering Heights area on the map.
I can’t freaking love this enough
I have serious doubts about the placement of that “1” Shelly has. Shelly, that’s the hundreds place. You want the tens place. Or, more likely, the ones place.
My theory is that the reason that was commemorated on film was that it was the first and only time it reached three digits.
They only got there by ignoring the past week’s worth of sighting reports. The pile toppled over yesterday.
This is still better than the video I was sent when considering a church in a small town in Wyoming, which basically amounted to “In the summer, we kill things. In fall, we kill other things. In winter, we taxidermy the things we’ve killed. We have a YMCA!”
One must assume the ‘m’ in ymca, here, stands for murder.
Is it fun to stay at that YMCA?
Can’t get enough of the boogie, AND sitting on the seats.
Telly Savalas is good, but he’s no Philomena Cunk.
For some reason, I find the unseen urban planner with the skull ring one of the most unnerving aspects of this. I don’t know if it’s supposed to be one of our known occultists (Bob Crowley, Bob Warren, that Wendlefield-hating guy from the Tackleford chamber of commerce whose name I can’t remember) or just a garden variety Tackleford satanic urban planner.
Tommy Binks was the Wendlefield-hating guy from the Tackleford CoC. https://scarygoround.com/badmachinery/?pg=1235#showComic
Good job remembering him – I forgot all about him and merely happened to be skimming through Severed Alliance just before reading your comment.
Tell that to Mad Terry and his mum.
I had tears in my eyes from laughing at the Telly Savalas Birmingham promo.
Thank you for that!
Telly Savalas Looks At Birmingham is good, I guess, but it’s no Telly Savalas Looks At Portsmouth:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EmrGSqteGo
I mean, it’s not even Telly Savalas Looks At Aberdeen:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhIyj64TQPg
The more I think about, the more amazed I am that Harold Baim (for it was he who directed the Savalas travelogues) made those films over thirty years after Muir and Norden wrote Balham: Gateway to the South, as memorably performed solo by Peter Sellers. Usually the parody comes after the thing it’s parodying, not before.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVCkvheedWA
“Motorways cause problems!”
I want this on a bumper sticker, thank you Kojak.
I can’t be the only one delighted by a Wen-Tack reference, and to learn that it was being hyped up as part of the exciting future for about a decade before it was finally “unboxed” (of course it was).
I still think about the Wen-Tak kids. They were like the ‘New Mutants’ of Bad Machinery. I wonder if they will ever turn up in a Solver story…
Tom Grendel appeared in “A Holiday Harlequinade” but I think that might be it.
https://badmachinery.com/comic/a-holiday-harlequinade-part-4/
Grendel! I didn’t know that was him (and his very fit mother), but now my heart is gladdened.
On the topic of Wen-Tack, I often think about the strip with Zeebus jogging with his dad, which was surprisingly heartwarming.
So, thank you for both warning and gladdening my heart.