Maybe the venison being served is from a different animal than the one she just butchered? I would not be surprised if Hetty has her own meat locker where she ages all the meat from the many large mammals she has defeated in mortal combat. Maybe she went in there to hang up the recently-killed stag, and while she was there she noticed another one that was now ready for the kitchen.
When people ask me about my upbringing, I tell them that we always had the opening day of deer hunting season off from school, and in sixth grade (so Year 7 in the UK?) all of us were invited to bring in the hearts of any deer that we or our families had killed for a special anatomy lesson + cookup.
It’s not a big enough heart for three people, but there are cuts that need to age and cuts you can eat pretty quick.
And if your shot damages the heart, remember that the liver is quite tasty if properly sautéed and the kidneys may also be consumed if you boil the p*** outta them.
Or so my Dad used to say.
I’m going to give Hettie the benefit of the doubt and assume she has superhuman meat curing powers as well as superhuman ungulate curtailing abilities.
I remember reading an Alice Waters / Chez Panisse story where their first Thanksgiving open they served up turkeys from a friend’s farm, freshly killed, not having waited for rigor mortis to pass and they were tough and inedible.
My bank tells me that I can pay in cheques by sending them a photograph of the cheque. Which causes me a few worries about security, but I guess that asking Kids Today to actually visit a bank in person would… cause them to act like unfortunate stereotypes.
I have a friend who was head of IT at a largish national bank and he once clarified to me that ANYTHING you can write on can be, and probably has been used as a cheque. One top tip: if you wanted to delay cashing of a cheque, stick a staple in it so it gets put aside for manual processing.
One other thing he mentioned when I complained about my name not fitting on my debit card was that the name is completely ignored and is there to make people feel better.
And the check cashing company I work for has to deal with jerks who take a picture for their bank and then come in to us to get a “second bite of the apple” so to speak.
No, no, you’re thinking of those strange rectangular slots that were on computers waaaay back in the 90s and early 00’s. We called them “floppy drives” because they made the check all floppy and crumpled.
I used to live across the street from a guy who hung deers from the tree in his front yard so he could “process” them. He always wore a white smock covered in blood. One night he knocked on my door in the bloody smock and asked me to do him a favor. I was never so glad to get that favor out of the way — and to move away a few months later.
Ah, yes, Lottie is of a generation that would only have passing familiarity with cheques. I can remember a lesson in elementary school in the US about how to use checks, from how to make them out to how to deposit them, including what you can do with post-dated and stale-dated checks.
I also remember that lesson, but my first college roommate apparently did not get it (so perhaps mine was the last year, as he was a year younger than me). When he tried to give me his half of the security deposit it was pretty mad libs: he knew most of the things that were supposed to go on the check, like the amount and the signature and who you’re giving it to, but he got basically all of them in the wrong places. IIRC he signed it in the DATE blank.
I never had a school lesson about them, but I learned how to use checks from my parents. While they both were born in the States, my father’s parents came from Canada, so he was even able to teach me the difference between a check and a cheque.
Are checks really that unusual nowadays? I’m still very frequently paid by check; got three checks in the mail just this week. It does depend on the employer; I work in the entertainment industry on short-term jobs for many different companies, and some of them pay by direct deposit, but a good proportion of them still send checks. Is it that different in other industries?
(My current landlord, however, or rather the property management company that handles the apartment building where I live, accepts online payments through a payment portal…)
I actually really dig this ending. The old man pursued his own goals in life, living his adventure, and while I suspect he did care for this children he also neglected them to an extent. But that’s just how it is sometimes. We must all remember our parents are people.(Our children should remember that about Us too.) Not that it excuses misdeeds, but sometimes we can’t fix them or make up for them. All we can do is understand and live on.
So sticking him on the mantle like this feels appropriate. We waited for you to come home, and you finally did. Now you’re staying.
Also I haven’t had Venison in AGES. Though I imagine the venison on this side of the pond is markedly different than over there.
Damnit, now I’m hungry. And I just ate breakfast too.
The taste of venison is dependent upon A)what the deer has been feeding upon and B) the age of the deer.
Yearlings that graze in orchards & farmer’s fields taste the best.
Makes sense. While I’m no biochemist or biologist, I have enough basic understanding of basic principles to get that what goes into them changes them chemically and could very easily influence taste. Treatment of the animal also makes a difference. I remember something about stress hormones like cortisol and so on effecting taste. Hence the practice of a quick and clean kill for game animals to prevent the stress of death effective the meat.
Good lord. EFFECTING the meat. C’mon man, I’m speaking in front of an audience with heavy membership amongst the progenitors of the language I claim to speak, I really ought to watch how I use it better!
Perhaps Claire’s LSE education will come in handy here.
Aaargh – you can’t eat venison the same day it’s been killed! It has to be hung for AGES, hasn’t it?
According to a quick web search, it’s recommended, but not strictly necessary.
Maybe the venison being served is from a different animal than the one she just butchered? I would not be surprised if Hetty has her own meat locker where she ages all the meat from the many large mammals she has defeated in mortal combat. Maybe she went in there to hang up the recently-killed stag, and while she was there she noticed another one that was now ready for the kitchen.
You do not want to see my cousins’ basement freezer.
Is it wrong if I say that I do? I’m curious as to how much pilfered – nay, purloined – stag one man can hide away.
HAHAHAHA I regret to inform you that the heart is DELICIOUS eaten fried with onions the same day it is caught.
every day I learn a new incredible fact on the internet
Would the heart feed three people? How long does a deer take to eat? Is it more than a month? This is mad eh.
I’m guessing Hetty can eat as much as several normal people. All that strength requires an energy source.
When people ask me about my upbringing, I tell them that we always had the opening day of deer hunting season off from school, and in sixth grade (so Year 7 in the UK?) all of us were invited to bring in the hearts of any deer that we or our families had killed for a special anatomy lesson + cookup.
It’s not a big enough heart for three people, but there are cuts that need to age and cuts you can eat pretty quick.
And if your shot damages the heart, remember that the liver is quite tasty if properly sautéed and the kidneys may also be consumed if you boil the p*** outta them.
Or so my Dad used to say.
I’d think that Hetty might prefer the liver with some fava beans and nice Chianti
I’m going to give Hettie the benefit of the doubt and assume she has superhuman meat curing powers as well as superhuman ungulate curtailing abilities.
By the time that Hetty was done with that deer, the meat was thoroughly tenderised.
I would guess that Lottie is about to encounter venison tartare, but I suspect that Hetty would just call that “venison”.
I remember reading an Alice Waters / Chez Panisse story where their first Thanksgiving open they served up turkeys from a friend’s farm, freshly killed, not having waited for rigor mortis to pass and they were tough and inedible.
Perhaps it’s more important with poultry?
Mmmm… Venison…
I’m going to miss the Mapplethorpes.
Me too. I’m hoping this isn’t the last we’ll see of them.
It was self defense. The deer had a knife.
It was comin’ right for ’em!
TWICE!!!
I love this conclusion! That man is where he deserves to be, with the children ha always had avoided. Also, I’m sure Hetty is an excellent cook.
There’s a special slot in your phone into which you insert the cheque to get the money from it.
Modern phones don’t have that slot anymore they all use Bluetooth
My bank tells me that I can pay in cheques by sending them a photograph of the cheque. Which causes me a few worries about security, but I guess that asking Kids Today to actually visit a bank in person would… cause them to act like unfortunate stereotypes.
I have a friend who was head of IT at a largish national bank and he once clarified to me that ANYTHING you can write on can be, and probably has been used as a cheque. One top tip: if you wanted to delay cashing of a cheque, stick a staple in it so it gets put aside for manual processing.
One other thing he mentioned when I complained about my name not fitting on my debit card was that the name is completely ignored and is there to make people feel better.
And the check cashing company I work for has to deal with jerks who take a picture for their bank and then come in to us to get a “second bite of the apple” so to speak.
No, no, you’re thinking of those strange rectangular slots that were on computers waaaay back in the 90s and early 00’s. We called them “floppy drives” because they made the check all floppy and crumpled.
“I believe this brings our business to a close” can mean either “Shall we settle up?” or “Why are you still here?”
Or both.
I read it as leaning a bit more toward the latter. On the other hand, they were supposed to be Lottie’s ride home.
I don’t know. The rest of the page strongly implies it was the former.
That apron IS a little unsettling.
After all, what’s a little more blood on it…?
I’m too used to sites where you can edit a post.
Dinnae wurry. It confuses me too.
I used to live across the street from a guy who hung deers from the tree in his front yard so he could “process” them. He always wore a white smock covered in blood. One night he knocked on my door in the bloody smock and asked me to do him a favor. I was never so glad to get that favor out of the way — and to move away a few months later.
The Mapplethorpe siblings reconciled AND venison for dinner!! You’re spoiling us John!!
Is that Lottie and Glym’s first cheque? They should frame it. After paying it in first of course.
Ah, yes, Lottie is of a generation that would only have passing familiarity with cheques. I can remember a lesson in elementary school in the US about how to use checks, from how to make them out to how to deposit them, including what you can do with post-dated and stale-dated checks.
That probably means I’m old…
I also remember that lesson, but my first college roommate apparently did not get it (so perhaps mine was the last year, as he was a year younger than me). When he tried to give me his half of the security deposit it was pretty mad libs: he knew most of the things that were supposed to go on the check, like the amount and the signature and who you’re giving it to, but he got basically all of them in the wrong places. IIRC he signed it in the DATE blank.
I never had a school lesson about them, but I learned how to use checks from my parents. While they both were born in the States, my father’s parents came from Canada, so he was even able to teach me the difference between a check and a cheque.
A cheque is worth, depending upon the daily exchange rate, generally about 75% of the worth of a check.
On a cheque, you have to write the numerals in French.
My experience has been that landlords still generally expect me to pay rent with checks. It is the one thing that I still routinely use checks for.
Are checks really that unusual nowadays? I’m still very frequently paid by check; got three checks in the mail just this week. It does depend on the employer; I work in the entertainment industry on short-term jobs for many different companies, and some of them pay by direct deposit, but a good proportion of them still send checks. Is it that different in other industries?
(My current landlord, however, or rather the property management company that handles the apartment building where I live, accepts online payments through a payment portal…)
I the UK cheques are now very very rare, stores won’t take them and tradespeople don’t want them.
Wow, she knows how to butcher it, too! Eating it the same day is very… outdoorsy
Seems like deer stew is on the menu today!
I actually really dig this ending. The old man pursued his own goals in life, living his adventure, and while I suspect he did care for this children he also neglected them to an extent. But that’s just how it is sometimes. We must all remember our parents are people.(Our children should remember that about Us too.) Not that it excuses misdeeds, but sometimes we can’t fix them or make up for them. All we can do is understand and live on.
So sticking him on the mantle like this feels appropriate. We waited for you to come home, and you finally did. Now you’re staying.
Also I haven’t had Venison in AGES. Though I imagine the venison on this side of the pond is markedly different than over there.
Damnit, now I’m hungry. And I just ate breakfast too.
The taste of venison is dependent upon A)what the deer has been feeding upon and B) the age of the deer.
Yearlings that graze in orchards & farmer’s fields taste the best.
Makes sense. While I’m no biochemist or biologist, I have enough basic understanding of basic principles to get that what goes into them changes them chemically and could very easily influence taste. Treatment of the animal also makes a difference. I remember something about stress hormones like cortisol and so on effecting taste. Hence the practice of a quick and clean kill for game animals to prevent the stress of death effective the meat.
Good lord. EFFECTING the meat. C’mon man, I’m speaking in front of an audience with heavy membership amongst the progenitors of the language I claim to speak, I really ought to watch how I use it better!
In some sense, the food DOES effect as well as affect the meat.
Invoice
To: solving problem……..£1
To: knowing which problem to solve……..£999
Lottie certainly urned that cheque!
I very nearly missed this marvelous pun.
A bit of an about-vase with that ending!
GROTEFUL! Glorious.